Monday, November 30, 2009

Why I Craved Celery Today

Today I opened the refrigerator to get a snack and saw a cool, crisp piece of celery that was washed and trimmed. It looked great. I ate it and washed it down with a glass of fresh, filtered water from our refrigerator. This was a a first. I actually think I may have succeeded in changing my eating habits. With the exception of Thanksgiving and Kenny's and Joe's birthdays, I have been eating very well for the past two months. I have rarely had any refined grain products, and almost no sweets.

Why I have been able to stick to my pre-diabetic diet for the first time is a mystery to me. But I have several theories. One is that I am much less stressed out than while I was working, so I am not eating to sooth myself or because I am exhausted. The second is that regular exercise has reduced my cravings. The third is that my life is changing, and I am avoiding behaviors that make me tired and frustrated, and thus am less likely to over eat.

One change is that I am trying to let go of the notion that I have to fix everything that goes wrong or might go wrong with my daughters or husband. I grew up having to know how to avoid the wrath of a maniacal mother and deal with a chronically depressed father. I learned at an early age to be able to read mood and body language and to understand and mitigate unpleasant circumstances. I used these skills in school to be the A student who always seemed to know just what the professor wanted or needed to hear. I used the skills in the workplace to convince those around me to do whatever was required to make the office go smoothly. And I got lots of positive feedback for these behaviors.

But these behaviors took time and energy and did not allow me to do things that were new, creative, or just plain fun. So now is the time to do whatever I please, and I really have no excuses to hold me back, except that it is difficult to change old patterns. The the first change was the hardest. For me that was starting to exercise. Now other changes are coming with surprising rapidity. So maybe this is why I craved celery today.

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